Here is "Your Nickel Back"
[I think we came up with this one at like 3am]
NOTE: In addition to the card or cards, you will receive ONE (1) real nickel (regardless of whether you order 1 card or 1000 cards).
We're glad you asked! Because...
*Think about it (Part 1), if we gave you 1000 nickels, that would be $50, which is way more than we're charging your for the cards.
*Think about it (Part 2), 1000 nickels would be really f***ing heavy! So that would probably add a bazillion dollars in shipping costs!
* Think about it (Part 3), the whole point/joke/pun/whatever is singular, not plural - it's not "Nickels Back"
P.S. Email info@TheWhateverNetwork.com with the subject line "I WANT MY NICKEL BACK!" and we might just Venmo you a nickel whether you buy the cards or not! (Be sure to indicate the email or phone number attached to your Venmo account if it's not the one you're emailing us from)